A Jug of Wine and the Wrong Brother
by Hermione Prime
Summary: Mo Dao Zu Shi. Wei Wuxian is a bastard. Jiang Cheng knew that 'spin the wine jug' was going to be a disaster from the start, but he didn't know that he would have to watch Wei Wuxian kiss the revered Gusu Lan Sect Leader, and then Jin Zixuan and then ... him? And why is Lan Wangji looking like he is a breath away from committing murder?


"What the –"

"Spin the jug," Wei Wuxian declared, once he'd gulped down the last mouthful of the wine. Emperor's Smile indeed – Emperor's Slobber would have been a more astute name. Jiang Cheng flinched as he watched it overflow Wei Wuxian's mouth and drip off the tip of his chin.

Wei Wuxian set the empty wine jug onto the table with a flourish. "It's a game I invented. We take turns spinning the jug and we kiss whoever the opening lands on."

"You -!" Jiang Cheng hissed. He took great effort to not look at either of the twin Jades of Gusu Lan sitting, immaculate, at Wei Wuxian's elbows; he didn't think he could take the embarrassment. "Of all the improper things to suggest –"

His endeavour to salvage the last of Yunmeng Jiang's dignity was drowned out by Wei Wuxian's ear-splitting, alcohol-fuelled burp.

"It's decided then," Wei Wuxian had the audacity to say.

Jiang Cheng snuck a look at the two Lan brothers. What he saw was very much expected. On Wei Wuxian's left side, Lan Xichen, as befitting of his reputation as the saintliest man to ever grace this earth, stirred his rice with a mild smile on his face. To Wei Wuxian's right, Hanguang Jun sat like a marble statue, shoulders even stiffer than usual.

Jiang Cheng looked very pointedly at Hanguang Jun. The man was always very reliable in helping deter Wei Wuxian's various shenanigans.

"No," Lan Wangji finally said.

The moment of silence that followed was bless.

But then, to Jiang Cheng's utmost horror, Wei Wuxian reached to his left and hooked Lan Xichen around the neck so that his face dangled in front of the Lan Sect Leader's. The fleeting look of surprise across Lan Xichen's eyes told volumes about how many boundaries the bastard crossed with that one breath.

"Lan-da-gege," Wei Wuxian sighed right next to Lan Xichen's ear – and that was when Jiang realised with a chill that Wei Wuxian was drunk off his face – "you're Lan Zhan's older brother. If you say yes, he'll listen to you."

Jiang Cheng wanted the tavern's flea-rotted carpet to swallow him up. The way Lan Xichen gazed right past Wei Wuxian's shoulder, at _him_, for help was too much. The sound of a cup clattering to the table came from Lan Wangji's direction. Jiang Cheng resolutely did not look his way to see his response to Wei Wuxian groping his older brother.

"It's just a game," Jiang Yanli said, and when Jiang Cheng spun around to stare at his sister, her eyes were soft and fixated on Wei Wuxian. "And it's a celebration tonight."

Of course, as soon as his sister spoke up, the peacock Jin Zixuan, ever keen to please his new wife, followed suit. Jin Guangyao laughed and added his agreement.

"A-Cheng," Yanli said.

Something in her tone gave him pause, a tinge of wistfulness. Jiang Cheng followed her gaze towards his brother, and with a sudden start, he saw what she meant. Wei Wuxian was laughing, not the bitter, hollow, borderline deranged laugh a few weeks ago when he set slaughter to the Wens, flute at his lips, but a real laugh, mellowed out with alcohol and the corners of his eyes crinkling until they were all but gone. Even the resentful energy that lingered around him had temporarily settled out. With his hair tied back with the red ribbon, it almost seemed like old times.

"Perhaps it won't be a bad idea for a distraction," Lan Xichen said.

And Jiang Cheng suddenly didn't have the strength to resist anymore.

…

Which was why they were in this mess.

Wei Wuxian went first. And honestly, Jiang Cheng must have offended some divinity in his past life because the jug spun and spun and slowly came to a stop in front of the worst possible candidate. Which was to say: Lan Xichen.

Lan Xichen's eyes went wide with shock, and Jiang Cheng wondered bitterly why the man didn't realise this was a possibility before he agreed to this. Wei Wuxian tossed Lan Xichen a careless grin, which the sect leader reciprocated with a tug of his collar, an involuntary gesture not unlike a maiden trying to avert the affections of over-enthusiastic suitors. For the first time this evening, Lan Xichen, the esteemed leader of Gusu Lan sect, looked unsure.

Jiang Cheng was an evil man for enjoying someone else suffering under Wei Wuxian's antics for once. Because Lan Xichen truly did not deserve it. Jiang Cheng closed his eyes.

When he opened them again, he saw a drunken Wei Wuxian – nobody else seemed to have noticed that he was drunk apart from Yanli because a sober Wei Wuxian behaved like a drunkard anyway – misjudging his own strength and bowling Lan Xichen over.

Taken completely for a turn, the older Jade landed hard on his back. Jiang Cheng grimaced. Already, he could see Lan Xichen's pristine robes smudging on the tavern floor. Zewu-Jun's hair had fallen apart, splayed around him, and Wei Wuxian was twirling a strand between his fingers pensively. Lan Xichen had flushed red. It was quite a sight, to see the man so discomposed.

"Master Wei," Lan Xichen began. "I have something to tell you –"

From the corner of his eye, Jiang Cheng caught a glimpse of Lan Wangji who, in the chaos, had stood up. Hanguang-Jun was a sight to behold, but a different sight to his older brother because upon seeing him, all of Jiang Cheng's mirth evaporated. Lan Wangji's face looked like it had been carved from ice, colder and more rigid than ever. His eyes were dark with – Jiang Cheng didn't know – rage? Killing intent? Protectiveness. Yes, protectiveness for his brother. Jiang Cheng understood completely because as much as he hated the bastard, if someone had tried to humiliate Wei Wuxian in this way, he would have their hide.

On this thought, Jiang Cheng thought to call out a warning to Wei Wuxian about Lan Wangji. But when he turned back to Wei Wuxian, it was too late. The bastard was peppering Lan Xichen's neck with kisses, working up to his chin and then, like a dog, started licking Lan Xichen's lips. Once Lan Xichen opened his mouth for air, Wei Wuxian took the opportunity and stuck his tongue down the venerated Zewu-Jun's throat. Jiang Cheng wanted to die.

And then Wei Wuxian withdrew, mumbling some nonsense about how he craved spiciness and how 'er-ge, the meals at Gusu are too flavourless. Your lips are spicy.'

That was another thing Jiang Cheng would never forgive Wei Wuxian for. At the tavern, he'd promptly ordered for them all, and all the dishes had been draped in so much chilli that even Jiang Cheng was coughing for water. He didn't like to think how the Jades fared.

"Wangji," Lan Xichen said gently, as he rose from Wei Wuxian's side and handed a handkerchief to his younger brother. Jiang Cheng noticed that Lan Xichen wasn't looking at Wei Wuxian at all. This was going to make future sect meetings awkward. "Your lip is bleeding."

And so it was. In his fury, Lan Wangji had bitten through his lip. The younger Jade had turned pale and was visibly shaking, fists clenching and unclenching.

"I'm sorry," Jiang Cheng blurted. It was supposed to be for Lan Xichen, but somehow, he ended up directing it more at Lan Wangji.

"I'm sorry too," Lan Xichen murmured. It was probably meant for Jiang Cheng but again, it somehow sounded like it was directed at Lan Wangji.

Jiang Cheng had had enough of Wei Wuxian for one evening. His self-control gave out to his own selfish desires. Let the others try to control Wei Wuxian. Jiang Cheng asked the waiter boy to refill his wine.

With the wine warming up his stomach, the evening became more bearable. Lan Xichen spun the bottle next, and it landed on Jin Guangyao. Jiang Cheng couldn't remember much but it was chaste, and Lan Xichen went through it with a smile. And then the wine set in and things became blurrier. He remembered Jin Zixuan kissing his sister, remembered her laugh. And then for some damn reason, Jin Zixuan spun the bottle on Wei Wuxian.

They might have kissed, they might not have, but punches were thrown, and Wei Wuxian had barked some hard words at Jin Zixuan about him not deserving shi-jie and at the end of it, Jiang Cheng was still trying to figure out through the wine-haze if the mark on Jin Zixuan's collarbone was a hickey or a bruise.

And then Wei Wuxian spun the bottle towards him.

As Wei Wuxian lurched towards him, Jiang Cheng felt a horrifying need to run. The wine was distorting his vision, slowing him down, because one moment Wei Wuxian was on the other side of the table but after one blink, he was right in front of him. Jiang Cheng raised his hand to slap himself across the face, to regain some sobriety, but –

Oh, Wei Wuxian had been stopped in his tracks by a hand around his wrist. Jiang Cheng's eyes followed the hand to the sleeve – Gusu Lan? – and then up to its owner's face. Lan Wangji. Suddenly, Jiang Cheng felt like he was intruding because the look on Lan Wangji's face was, well, it looked like it had hidden depths and he hadn't realised Lan Wangji was capable of looking anything other than uptight and flat.

"_Wei Ying_," Lan Wangji said, serious and low.

And then Wei Wuxian was following Lan Wangji away, and with a feeling of immense relief now that someone else was responsible for Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng let himself succumb to the wine's warm caress. The last thing he realised before falling asleep was that Wei Wuxian had called Lan Xichen '_er_-ge'.


End file.
